Devil In My Head
by lirendil
Summary: Unable to sleep, Su makes a last ditch attempt to appeal to Kuvira the night after her coup. It was only supposed to be about Zaofu... but in the end, they both find themselves dealing with a whole lot more than they bargained for.


A/N:

In case the M rating wasn't clear, do take note of it now. I assure you it's there for a reason.

DISCLAIMER: These characters are not mine and I'm fairly certain their creators did not have this kind of scenario in mind. Well, it's their fault for giving us close to zero solid evidence that they actually had a familial relationship. Sounds like a cover-up to me...

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><p>Suyin stood outside the golden double doors with one hand poised to knock, frozen inches from making contact.<p>

_She'll have you running before you can even make your point._

That was rather likely but it just made her resolve stronger. Probably because it made her angry. Anger had always been an emotion she could handle - it was dominant. Safe.

_You'll never change her mind._

But, damn everything, she had to try.

She knocked firmly and stepped back. An unexpected rush of adrenaline made her chest tighten and she found herself oddly transported back to a scene from three and a half years prior… except anger hadn't been the catalyst then.

_And maybe it isn't now eith-_

One door swung open revealing Kuvira in a white tank top and loose green pants, somehow looking no less imposing than earlier. She didn't even seem taken aback to see Suyin standing there in her own night robe. Then again, she'd always been good at hiding her emotions when she wanted to.

"What do you want?"

Suyin steeled herself. "I want to talk."

"We talked earlier," Kuvira pointed out drily. "Why should I believe this will be any less of a waste of time?"

It was a perfectly valid question and one Su didn't really have an answer to. She was rather hoping to figure it out as she went along. "Just… give me a minute and hear me out. Please." The supplication sounded pathetic to her own ears and she resigned herself to surely having the door slammed in her face. But though Kuvira's glare remained firmly in place, the younger woman stepped back and pulled the door fully open. Su tried to hide her surprise as she walked over the threshold into the dimly moonlit room.

The door closed with a quiet click behind her and Su felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle as Kuvira approached, slowly skirting around her.

"So you still remember our habits." Su looked up quizzically and caught Kuvira's meaningful gaze towards the ensuite.

Su smiled wryly. "Baatar Jr. sleeps like a rock and you can't even get your eyes heavy until midnight or so. Some things don't change."

"Hm." Kuvira turned and walked across the room to the window, white light gleaming off of the top of her head, thick braid loosely swaying behind her. It was several inches shorter than the last time Su had seen it and any trace of bangs was tightly pulled back. Still, it reminded Su of how it would swirl around Kuvira every practice while the hair that framed her face somehow never got in the way no matter what acrobatics she did. The contrast of her composed rigidity on duty and fluid passion in dance had always been remarkable. Now, the squared set of her shoulders as she kept her hands clasped behind her made it seem like this was all there was to her anymore.

"I guess some things do change, though." Kuvira said nothing and kept her back to Suyin. "We used to be able to talk. We shared so many ideals and visions that I thought nothing could come between us." She sighed. "Kuvira, I'd known you for years and then suddenly something changed. What happened?" Su's voice sounded drained.

Kuvira remained perfectly still when she spoke. "You stopped putting your own words into action. You neglected to oversee the necessary task of restoring order in the Earth Kingdom, content to leave it to someone grossly incompetent."

"That's not-"

"_You refused_," Kuvira went on sternly, casting a disapproving glance behind her, "to so much as consider the idea even when I swore to you I would follow. It's your own decisions that have now made you the one following me."

Su frowned. "You got tired of working under me?"

Kuvira whirled around to face her, keeping her voice level despite the thinly-veiled bite. "I got tired of putting my entire life on hold just because you always felt like saying no."

Something in Su's gut twisted painfully. She wasn't sure she liked where this was going. "You know it was never that simple."

"Right," Kuvira sneered. "I'm sure crawling back to your husband _wasn't_ the easiest thing in the world."

That struck a nerve but Su was determined to smother it. "That's what was best for both of us."

Kuvira looked almost amused. "Is that what you've been telling yourself all these years?" She laughed coldly. "Not that I'm surprised. 'Kuvira, don't do that; Kuvira, don't go there; Kuvira you can't leave Zaofu to help your own people...' You mistook my obedience for weakness and never could completely believe I was capable of making my own decisions. Because then you'd have to face the fact that we meant something, and you were far too scared."

"My _marriage_ is what meant something to-"

"No," Kuvira stepped towards her, "you just pretended you and your husband hadn't completely drifted apart because anything was better than admitting you loved me."

"And who says I ever loved you?" Su's expression was hard, fists clenching at her sides. She would _not_ be baited into losing this argument. Although some logical part of her mind told her Kuvira would probably throw her out for that, she didn't even care anymore - this had obviously been a futile mission to begin with. But the corner of Kuvira's lips simply twitched upward as she took the last few steps right into Su's personal space. Su forgot to inhale.

"You." Kuvira's breath ghosted across her cheeks. "You always said it. Your eyes. Your hands. Your lips." Her gaze lowered slightly for but a second. "They've always said more than words ever could."

Suyin glared up at Kuvira but something inside her felt like it was fissuring. Kuvira's mouth was still a stony line but something in her brow had softened. It was ruining Su's resolve. She looked away and took a deep, shaking breath in an attempt to collect herself. "Well, your words were pretty clear earlier when it came to Zaofu." She glanced back up and the steel wall had returned, deadening Kuvira's eyes. It was frightening.

"Did you come here because you seriously think you can buy me out?"

"Isn't that what you're trying to do with me?"

Kuvira smirked. "What you fail to realize is I don't have to. I recruited most of your metalbenders and after all this time, you still think they owe you something? I led them across the Earth Kingdom freeing cities from outlaws and providing resources to suffering villages. I looked after them when we fought to save the Avatar and I continue to do so now. I've shown people the future, and I'm going to show Zaofu next." She spun on her heel and made for the sofa.

"I built Zaofu," Su grated out.

"Yes." Kuvira whipped back around. "You built a self-sufficient society completely cut off from the rest of the world and absolved yourself of any responsibility for those less fortunate. You constructed a way of life based on your reliance on one person who betrayed you in the end, and look at where that got everyone. People are fickle and unpredictable. Structure is what keeps everyone in line and progress is what allows them to thrive. I won't sit back and watch someone else destroy the work I've done in this nation. Not when I can do something about it."

Suyin sighed. "So in the end that's what I taught you. That people will either use you or be used? Is that why you went and stole my son?"

Kuvira raised her eyebrows in feigned surprise. "But we can't help who we fall in love with, can we, Su?"

It was Suyin's turn to march over and plant herself firmly in front of Kuvira. "You honestly think you can make Baatar go up against his entire family? His father? His own brothers and sister?"

"You're more blind than I thought if you actually think that would stop him. In any event, who says Baatar Sr. will even defend you?" Kuvira bent forward to whisper in Suyin's ear. "Especially if he finds out exactly what _choreography_ you forced on me after hours all those years."

Suyin's blood ran cold. "You're blackmailing me?" It was meant to come out angrily; instead, to her horror, it sounded hurt. _This isn't the Kuvira you knew._ "You wouldn't dare."

Kuvira pulled away and cocked her head. "Wouldn't I? What do you think I have to lose?"

_This isn't the Kuvira you knew_, Su tried to convince herself. _Isn't, isn't, isn't. But..._ A single syllable appeared in her mind and she set her jaw. "Me."

Kuvira's eyes widened briefly before she schooled her features once more and leaned intimidatingly over the smaller woman. "That implies I already have you."

_Don't say it don't say it don't..._

Suyin could hear her blood pulsing in her ears at the proximity. "You do." She swallowed thickly, half hating that she was actually emotional and half relieved to abandon the pretense. "You always have."

"And what makes you think I even want a coward?" Kuvira pressed.

"I can… I can help." Both looked surprised that that had come out of her mouth. Kuvira leaned back. Su felt like she could breathe again. "We can go to Zaofu and work something out together."

"That's a big promise for someone who wanted to depose me ten minutes ago."

"Isn't it what you want?" Su snapped.

Kuvira lifted her finger to trace the outline of Su's cheek. It heated up furiously beneath her touch. "You know, the thing I love about Baatar is how unfalteringly loyal he can be. It's a trait I find convenient, and one he obviously didn't get from you."

Suyin felt her stomach turn at every mention of her son. She kept forgetting he was only several feet away - and engaged to the woman in front of her. "You don't trust me."

"Obviously not. Not when you still insist on lying to yourself."

Kuvira's hand slid down to her clavicle and dragged slowly across it. Su's breath hitched and it took all of her concentration to not let her eyes fall closed. "Who… who says I'm lying?" Her voice was shaking.

Kuvira smiled slowly. "You didn't come here because some council sent you or you thought I'd suddenly change my plans, did you?"

It wasn't even inflected like a question. Su bit her lip and watched with a rapidly increasing heart rate as Kuvira's eyes lingered on the movement. "No," she softly replied.

"So why don't you just admit the real reason to the both of us? Think of it as a trust building exercise." Kuvira's fingertips feathered up her neck before settling to hold her chin.

A resistant shred of pride was holding her back. This was giving Kuvira exactly what she wanted and Su would be left with… well… exactly what she wanted too, wouldn't she? Her hand found itself on Kuvira's cheek before she even realized she'd made a decision.

"It's been three years, Kuvira. I've… missed you." Kuvira's dark eyes were overtaken by an intensity that made Su swallow the words she'd opened her mouth to say next. Kuvira took advantage of Su's parted lips, fiercely claiming them with hers.

Some inarticulate noise rose, unbidden, from Su's throat. Her fingernails found themselves digging into the younger woman's scalp. She felt hands slide torturously down the front of her body before attaching themselves to her hips and spinning her around against the side of the sofa. Su could do little besides take gasping breaths between kisses as Kuvira ran her hands back up to her breasts and pressed a thigh between hers. She groaned around the tongue sweeping into her mouth. The hot pressure of Kuvira's body, her aggressive lips and roaming hands, her familiar musky scent that had always meant security and affection and want… it was all completely intoxicating. It might as well have been four years ago in the empty dance room, or her study, or Kuvira's apartment…

A clock striking the middle of the hour brought Suyin back to the present and reawakened the warning voice in her mind. As always, it reminded her why this had been a problem - that she had watched Kuvira grow up - was now inches away from being her mother-in-law of all things... Su pulled away.

Kuvira heaved deep breaths against Su's neck and brought one hand up to stroke through her silver hair. "What's wrong?"

Su needed a moment to take a few more inhales and ensure with some subtle seismic sense that the occupant of the next room over was still very much asleep. "I just…" She broke off, panting at the sensation of Kuvira's tongue flicking against the corner of her jaw. _Oh, this is bad._ "You… you were my student. This always feels like I'm taking advantage of you." _Think of that. Think of Zaofu. Think of every reason this is a terrible idea... _

"Well, if it makes you feel any better," Kuvira's lips moved against Su's ear, grip tightening almost painfully in the hair at the base of her neck, "you're not the one with the power anymore."

A chill raced down Suyin's spine in high contrast to the heat engulfing the rest of her body. She shouldn't want this - she really shouldn't. But the voice of reason gave way to one singing a much different tune. Everything external lost significance in the face of the one thing Su realized she'd never at all had the will to resist.

Kuvira roughly brought Su's mouth to hers again. Su swung her arms around Kuvira's shoulders to give herself some leverage before wrapping one leg, then another, around her waist. She felt her back slipping down the upholstery and Kuvira pressed further into her, hands relocating to the back of her thighs to hold her in place. Su inhaled sharply at the scrape of teeth on her skin as wet kisses and small bites made their way down her neck.

Her hips moved almost of their own accord, gaining whatever friction they could against the curve of Kuvira's abdomen between her legs, but their positions and layers of clothing quickly made it frustratingly unsatisfying. Kuvira adjusted her weight and pulled her away from the sofa, taking a few steps to the right to deposit her on its cushions. The taller woman climbed over Su, intertwining their legs and keeping her upper body slightly raised on her forearms.

She stared down while Su lifted a hand to the thick lock of hair that had finally escaped its confines. Just then, in the moon-tinged shadow, Kuvira looked exactly the way she had last time they'd been like this: solemn, reverent even, body full of restrained energy as she softly stroked Su's cheek with the back of her hand. No one had ever looked at Su the way Kuvira did. No one else could drown her in desire and leave her entirely weak then look at her like she was the air they breathed. It gave her her own sense of control even as it tore her clean apart.

Kuvira lowered her lips to Su's in a gentle, long, unhurried kiss. They took their time refamiliarizing themselves with each other, savoring the heat of every single point of contact: Kuvira's tongue running across the inside of Su's lower lip, their hips slowly moving against each other, Su's palms gripping Kuvira's waist where her tank top had ridden up. Kuvira's hand dismantled the knot of Su's robe and slipped underneath her shirt. Cool, soft fingers smoothed over the hot skin of her breast and she arched into the touch with a sigh. Kuvira's thumb absently teased one nipple while Su slid her hands up to Kuvira's shoulder blades, mapping out every cut of muscle and jut of bone even though she knew she hadn't forgotten a single thing.

Kuvira shifted herself to sit up a bit more. She pushed up Su's shirt so her chest was exposed and Su's breath caught at her voracious stare - quickly followed by the closing of her mouth around the previously neglected nipple. Su gripped Kuvira's hair and gasped as the flat of her tongue ran across the hard nub then tensed to roll it back and forth. Su couldn't believe how much sensation was overwhelming her body - not that she was particularly disposed at that moment to thinking about it much further. She cared about nothing besides guiding Kuvira's head over to her other breast, every stroke and pull on her sensitive flesh sending jolts of pleasure through her body. She caught herself grinding against Kuvira's conveniently located leg and only forced herself to stop when she felt herself already getting close to the edge. Kuvira thankfully pulled her mouth away as well.

Breathing heavily, Su watched Kuvira move a bit to the side and felt an arm come around her back. Slowly, Kuvira's hand traveled down Su's stomach and under the waistband of her pants. It took all of her restraint to remain still as Kuvira's finger feathered over her inner lips - she had to close her eyes when it nudged her clit. But at the second more firm press, Su's body jerked and she couldn't help letting out a tiny whine. Kuvira's fingers moved in slow circles, every direct pass over her clit causing a brief spasm. She was already so aroused, it was torturous.

Just when she felt she couldn't take anymore, Kuvira slowed. A careful finger moved down through her wet folds and easily slipped into her. Su hadn't even noticed she'd held her breath until the gentle, steady rhythm relaxed her enough to release it. The second digit entering her made her forget entirely about keeping silent; she moaned and uttered some unintelligible murmur of encouragement. The feeling of Kuvira inside of her, sinking ever more deeply into her with each stroke, gave her a sense of completion she hadn't felt in so long. It was almost unbearable to be so overwhelmed with the reality of how much she had ached for this.

For her.

Su opened her eyes again, unexpectedly finding Kuvira staring back. The gaze held a heated ferocity that would have made her shrink away had she not felt it already echoed within herself. Kuvira's fingers worked faster, more forcefully. Su wrapped a hand around the back of Kuvira's neck, pulling her head down so Su's mouth could slide over hers. It was barely a kiss; Su was so busy concentrating on rolling her hips up to meet the thrusts halfway. The tension within her mounted until she didn't even notice when their lips broke apart.

Su found herself short of breath as the pressure peaked, and a final push of Kuvira's thumb against her clit sent her past her breaking point. Su's body stiffened. The euphoria of her release made time stand still as Kuvira's fingers continued reaching into her, wringing the waves of pleasure out of her. She groaned into Kuvira's mouth which had at some point recaptured hers. They split again when Su collapsed, both gasping for needed breath with their foreheads resting against each other.

For a few minutes, both lay almost completely still except for the rise and fall of their gradually slowing respiration. While thought remained out of the picture entirely, it was perfection... but with the ebbing of physical satiation came a growing anxiety in Su's chest. Caught up in sensory bliss, it had been easy to forget about everything that had led up to this moment; all Su wanted to do was lie there and pretend things weren't a complete mess.

But it was becoming impossible to ignore.

Su was hesitant to even breathe, afraid that any movement would shatter the fragile balance they had somehow, miraculously, fallen into. To her dismay, the body on top of her tensed as if the realization had been audible.

Kuvira sat up abruptly and moved off of Su, leaving her body suddenly cold. Su couldn't bring herself to open her eyes until she heard Kuvira walk away a few steps; then, she got up herself, pulling down her shirt and retying her robe almost self-consciously. Kuvira stood between her and the door, body angled towards the ensuite. Su looked down and quietly walked by, Kuvira's back remaining to her.

Su felt a hand grasp her arm, stopping her although Kuvira hadn't turned around. Su braced herself.

"We'll talk." Kuvira's normally powerful voice was soft. Su still couldn't see her face but her grip loosened and trailed lingeringly down before she let go entirely.

That simple act alone melted Su's defenses. Kuvira had never been the type to hide herself unless she was affected by something. Su instinctively knew it was a sign to let her process. She worked up the will to continue to the door, lifted her hand to open it, then exited without looking back.

Su made her way to her room unable to focus on anything except those last two minutes. They had made the tiniest shred of hope glimmer within her and that brief touch was all she needed to make a decision.

She really should regret this.

But she really didn't.

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><p>AN:

Uh... full disclaimer... I've never posted smut. Ever. This is the most self-gratuitous thing I have ever written and posting it is giving me serious palpitations. I'm so sorry if it's lacking. I tried. I couldn't help myself. I'm obsessed with these two. Criticism is certainly welcome.

This was supposed to be a one-shot but I do have several thousand more words up my sleeve. Kuvira's limited screen time has allowed ideas to grow like weeds in my head and now I can't stop writing stuff behind her motivations. While not technically canon, much of it is as compliant to canon events as possible up to before episode ten. Not sure about after that. We'll see what happens.


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